Shift Your Language to a Positive Gear. Create New Possibilities.
What’s the positive language you like to use? You know, that much-needed pat on the back you give yourself when encouraging personal success. Share the love with others, using empowering language like, “Yes, you can,” as opposed to “No, that’s too hard.” Language that always presumes competence builds confidence in each and every person.
Negative Language: Breaking the Cycle
“No! Stop that!”
Isn’t that what you’d probably say if a kid’s misbehaving?
Your words? They have power. Especially the negative ones.
Negative words have a way of sticking around.
In fact, they can reinforce challenging behavior.
Here’s Amir. He’s always breaking up the soccer game and grabbing the ball. “No, Amir, don’t grab the ball!”
What does Amir hear, along with the rest of the kids? “No!”
What about later that day, when the counselor calls Amir’s mom, and says, “Your son’s behavior was horrible today, we don’t know what to do with him!”
What’s Amir’s mom thinking, “I’m so tired of these phone calls. Once again, they want me to solve their problems with Amir.”
And this goes on, day-in and day-out in Amir’s life. (And for his family too.)
Everyone expects negative behavior from Amir. It’s a repeating theme.
A negative loop on an endless repeat.
So how do you turn this negative loop around?
And how do you discover the reasons for Amir’s behavior and meet his needs more successfully?
Ok. Let’s go back to the soccer game.
When Amir interrupted and grabbed the ball…Freeze the frame.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- Does Amir know the rules of the game?
- Does he just want to toss a ball around on his own?
- Is the group setting socially overwhelming for him
- Is Amir feeling left out?
Asking questions, and looking at how each element played out, from start to finish, will help you replay what happened, and offer you the opportunity to be open to finding solutions. Solutions that will work for you and for Amir.
You’ll be able to build a fuller picture of Amir and his needs.
You’ll understand and appreciate him better. That will help break that negative cycle. For sure!
At Shutaf, answering Amir’s needs is about breaking that negative loop and helping him find success.
But first, Amir needs to know that we’ve got his back, even when he’s having a challenging moment.
You and Amir are working together towards his success.
It’s a win for Amir!
That’s going to make a big difference in the future.
At Shutaf, that’s how we see inclusion!
Want some more resources? Click the link below in comments, and download the Shutaf Stereotype Game™. It’s a great tool for moving your inclusion mindset forward. Contact us [email protected]
Shift Forward with Your Language – 5 Quick Tips
- Empowering Language encourages personal success.
- Positive Language creates positive feelings and expectations.
- Respectful Language helps discourage long-held stereotypes.
- Active Language means thinking visually for better understanding.
- Check in, Clarify, and Repeat, especially when setting goals and skill building.